The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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