You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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