in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize