the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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