the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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