Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my being single is dangerous.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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