she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
3pm strippers are depressing
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize