I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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