I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize