I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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