we made out on top of his cat.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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