Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize