Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize