i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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