He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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