I wanna bring you to show and tell
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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