Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize