I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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