she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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