we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize