So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
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If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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