he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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