Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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