meet me or not, i'm out of control
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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