Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize