Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
another moral hangover. fuck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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