There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it because I queefed?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize