We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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