everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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