I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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