ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am spending my child support on dildos
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize