I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I didn't notice because vodka
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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