you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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