the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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