Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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