nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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