DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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