You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize