Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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