if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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