My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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