fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
false alarm. still invincible.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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