textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize