Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Houston, we have a squirter
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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