He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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