I'm so fucking centered right now
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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