I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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