remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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