I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize