When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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