just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize